Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
do herpes really smell.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
