I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
