i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
