arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am available for nakedness
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
