PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
