Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
