Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize