This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
