shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
