this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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