I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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