you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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