im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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