You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
