All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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