I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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