I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
