Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
