Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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