I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize