We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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