I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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