I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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