I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize