So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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