U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
