Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
