When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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