i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
