Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
