Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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