Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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