How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
