I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
