You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
