I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
