He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
