I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
