Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
