so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
