So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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