So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
