I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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