I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
