What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
