I need help removing her.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
