I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours