it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.