Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me