Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex