before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy