We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina