He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
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I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your penis caused this!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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