so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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