it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he thought i was a dude.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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