Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
