i barfeds in our rink
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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