Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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