I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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