Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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