I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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