What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
