Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
