i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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