i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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