dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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