Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
