I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
