pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
